Q: I’m an intelligent, attractive, and open-minded 52-year-old woman who seems to be a magnet for much younger men. Two I have met over the Internet have spoken to me in poetic and romantic terms that one only hears in bodice rippers (maybe that’s where they get the lines). After a year of almost daily communication, one of these men traveled here from Brazil to visit me. I am very careful: messages on the Internet, then on Skype and/or the phone, meeting in public after telling a friend where I’m going, literally checking picture IDs, Googling, etc. This process usually takes place over several weeks or months, long enough to discourage anyone with bad intent. I might as well be working for the CIA doing background checks on cabinet appointees.

Friends and family have cautioned me repeatedly that these young men only want to take advantage of me, particularly financially. This is amusing, as my financial assets are non-existent. In fact, these men all have well-paying jobs and spend their money on me. The way I see it, I am benefiting from these liaisons as much as, or more than, the men. They stay in touch over time, even if we don’t continue a dating relationship.

Your thoughts? (And why do you think young men are attracted to older women?) 

A: Here’s what I advise: continue to enjoy your life without regard to the frowns of friends, family, or society. What do they know? It sounds like you are taking precautions and ensuring that you won’t be a victim. So go forth without guilt or worry.

I should note that I know several women in their 50s who have been bamboozled in recent months by Facebook con artists pretending to be enamored with them. Their schemes are sophisticated and convincing. Just be aware, and use your good head at all times.

Why are younger men attracted to older women? That’s an easy one: BECAUSE WE’RE BETTER (and a few young bloods out there have figured it out). 

Q: How long is too long to leave up outside Christmas decor? Seriously, is there a courtesy deadline for the neighbors? Are there exemptions if say you have an all-encompassing theme that goes beyond Christmas? There must be rules about this. 

A: This is America, and the last thing we need is more rules, especially about stuff that doesn’t matter. Leave your décor up until doomsday if you’d like. Seriously, I’m a libertarian when it comes to things such as these. I say live free or die defending your right to keep Rudolph’s nose lit all year long! 

Q: A big pet peeve of mine is when folks are rude to people in the food service industry. I’m appalled at the bad behavior I observe in restaurants. What can be done? 

A: We begin by modeling good behavior ourselves and by practicing the Golden Rule in interactions with everyone. It’s been said that the true measure of a person is how she treats someone who can do her absolutely no good. You already know that, but unfortunately, some people don’t see it that way.

There are many reasons that their thinking is clouded, but the most common ones are these: they feel powerless in life, so they make the power plays in these kinds of dealings; they believe waitresses and the like are beneath them, a notion that makes me laugh out loud to the point of snorting; or they bring in their own baggage and unload it there.

When I witness an odious patron, I leave a super-generous tip and go out of my way to be nice to the server. It’s also imperative to let the perpetrator know that such behavior is unacceptable. So I shoot ‘em my laser death glare.

I was a waitress. It was hard and taxing work. I remember living on the edge, wondering if I could save up enough tip money to return to college before I head butted a customer.

The bottom line: all of us, whether we’re the ones serving or receiving the service, must never forget that everyone is struggling with something — and that kindness is a necessary addition to everything. 

Read more: cougars and young men dating